The Art Of Being Still: Learning From Your Alone Time

While taking care your physical body is very crucial to your physical health, it is just as important to nourish your inner self as well. One way to do this is to surround yourself with loving people who uplift you and encourage you when you are down. Steer clear of negative people who focus on all the shortcomings in a situation and be aware of your own energy. Do you ever feel someone’s energy when they walk into a room? If the people in your inner circle are lowering your energy in any way then you may want to reevaluate your relationships.

You want to feel comfortable expressing yourself, be at ease when you’re around these people and feel joy when you are getting ready to see them. Additionally, you should also want to reciprocate these feelings back to them. Once you have found your core group of people, make sure that you are spending enough time with them. Schedule a weekly lunch date with your best friend, plan group outings, or reconnect with your family members who you haven’t seen in a while.

In addition to spending good quality time with your loved ones, you should also focus on spending good quality alone time with yourself. After all, it is only when you can sit with yourself and allow yourself to feel the feelings you are feeling that true healing begins to take place.

I believe that we all have everything we need within us and realizing that will inevitably allow you to see that you can make yourself happy without the need to find someone to do that for you. You have to be happy with yourself and that will allow you to attract people with those same traits.

Establishing this self love is critical and could potentially be the single most important thing I am writing about here, even more important than eating your vegetables. We have all heard this before and I know it’s the last thing you want to hear when you’re going through a devastating loss in your life. Believe me, I’ve been there, but once you allow yourself to accept yourself and your feelings this will no longer be an annoying cliché you hear; rather it will be a new way of life – accept that this is… The New Normal.

Now, this alone time doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable silent meditation practice, unless of course that’s what you enjoy. This again can look very different for people and can come in the form of a variety of activities. Figure out what gets you excited, relaxed and rejuvenated and do more of that. This could be a bike ride on the beach, reading a great book, cooking, spending time with animals, writing, etc… If you feel that you are having a hard time finding the time for yourself then I urge you to schedule it. Let the people in your life know that a certain block of time is yours and yours only. It’s ok to be a little selfish with your time and engage in activities that make you happy, that’s what life is supposed to be about.

The people in your life should understand because they care about your well being and it can serve as a reminder to them to engage in a little self care themselves.

Another great way to care for yourself during this alone time is to practice regular cleansing rituals such as exfoliating and moisturizing your skin, getting a facial, scraping your tongue followed by oil pulling in the morning (ayurvedic practices with proven benefits), trimming your hair, etc… These may seem like small trivial suggestions but showing yourself love through proper maintenance can yield incredibly positive results that are far greater than you can probably imagine now.

Throughout your alone time, if you are honoring your feelings you will likely engage in some soul searching. I believe that we are always receiving communication from our higher selves and it is only when you allow yourself to listen that you can truly receive these downloads. Just as your technology receives periodic software downloads so does your spiritual self. Often times these may come as a clear knowing or understanding of a once complicated situation, to a strong inner voice telling you what your next move in life should be.

Once you are in tune with your higher self you will soon be able to make sense of why things have unfolded the way they have in your life so far. More than likely you will also be able to figure out your purpose in this life, which I believe is a huge part of feeling fulfilled. If you’re unsure what your purpose might be, pay close attention to your emotions, as they will guide you. The next time you feel an overwhelming sense of joy or passion about something, follow it. I have experienced this first hand and it is an unmistakable feeling. Once you have a clear vision of what you’re meant to do and you declare that you are going to do it, things will synchronistically begin to fall into place. The only way I can really describe it is that it’s magical.

As you become aligned with your higher self, life no longer serves as an obstacle course, rather it becomes a joyful experience in which you empower yourself and others along the way.

Through this self discovery you will begin to cultivate a spiritual practice. I don’t want to say how you should do this or what spiritual practice you should adopt because it is a personal choice but feeling like there is guidance, support and love for you on a higher level has a profound effect on your overall health, regardless of what form you believe it comes in.

A good place to start if you don’t yet have a spiritual practice is meditation and hopefully through that you will learn what serves you best. Take advantage of the free online 21-day Meditation series Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra regularly offer. Sign-up online at so you can get notices when the next free meditation series will be offered. There are tons of other guided meditations available online and many yoga studios offer meditation classes as well.

Keep in mind that meditation doesn’t mean you’ll be sitting still on a mat listening to silence. For me, a big part of meditation is being in nature. I absolutely love being on the beach in my neighborhood, walking through the green that surrounds me and breathing in the fresh air as I watch the waves hit the shore. This is part of my alone time as well, so if you are feeling overwhelmed by all of the tips mentioned above, know that a lot of them go hand in hand and can be combined as part of your daily routine.

I hope you can adopt some of these ideas and that they resonated with you in some way. It is all movement in your path to healing and becoming a better YOU.. Trust that everything that has happened in your life has happened ‘for you’ not to you and through taking care of yourself both internally and externally you will find the direction you are seeking that will likely lead to an even more fulfilling existence.

About the Author: Edith Agoston is a freelance writer and Integrative Nutrition Health Coach in Seattle, WA. She writes about all things health and wellness including nutrition, fitness and spirituality on her main platform Edith works with her clients to implement behavioral lifestyle changes to improve their overall well being.